Monday, May 17, 2010

Driving in Kabul

Writing the instructions for how to drive in Kabul for my office:

1. Don't be stupid.

2. You have the Right of Way when:
- your car is ahead of theirs;
- they hesitate;
- they are smaller than you (most of the time);
- they flinch first;
- you can convince them you are NOT stopping.

3. Stop at intersections - NEVER. Turn left, right or go straight through as if they have the red light every time.
4. Traffic circles in Kabul are not directional - just go where you want to.
5. Stop for National Directorate of Security checkpoints only when the RPG is pointed DIRECTLY at you.
6. If they point the RPG at you, close to within 20 feet as slyly as possible - it won't go off, honest.
7. They are ALL one-way streets - or rather, they are all TWO way streets no matter what the traffic or sign may say...

8. "Smile and wave" or "Cute and Cuddly" are great attitudes to have, but "I will bring all my people home no matter what." is better.

9. Convoy "Success" is measured by Everyone Home Safely. Everything else is negligible.

1 comment:

  1. Are all uniformed members allowed to drive, or only those specially trained? If only specially trained drivers are allowed, will they receive a special badge or device or ribbon at the end of their tours?