Pride

Sometimes pride in your uniform, your job, your appearance is taken just a little far. This was not a joke, this was a real picture of his weapon.

This "jingled" weapon isn't that common, but decorating trucks, weapons, and other implements of war is an age-honored custom here in Afghanistan. I guess pink doesn't carry the same meaning here.

Another thing I have learned to love is the saying "There is NOW and NOT NOW." It's wonderfully zen, but not wonderful for getting things done. We mostly use this in terms of planning or the lack thereof. It doesn't necessarily apply to the Afghans.

We have many many many many many many many (many) chiefs out here. From many (times 50) countries. Each country brings political legitmacy with them - very important that - but also good ideas and political agendas and baggage. This makes getting things planned, resourced and executed challenging.

When putting a plan together, the different parties - coalition and Afghan - all bring different priorities to the table. Their national pride is often at stake. It is often misunderstood, out of place or ridiculous from our perspective. I am sure the policeman in the picture was just bringing a little pride to the formation.

I am not sure if this police car impresses me in the attention to detail the police paid to it or....

makes me laugh - or both.

We are out here trying to build an Afghan National Security Force. There are many successes and many failures, but one thing that stares you in the face every day is that the culture here is not all that similar to that in the US.

For example, we issued enough pistols to the Ministry of Interior for every policeman to carry one in the country. One thing we overlooked is that here, only the officers in the organization carry pistols. Regular police carry AK47s. So, in most of the arms rooms I have inspected, boxes of unissued pistols are stacked to the ceiling.

There are many issues with training the police. In my opinion, the biggest is that it is hard for active duty military people to do. It requires a different mind set, an understanding of different culture not just of another country but another service and way of life. Infantrymen are not good policemen.

The funny thing is that the National Guardsmen from the US are much better at this than the regular army guys. They have the experience of performing a very wide variety of jobs that they aren't trained for and so are much more adaptable and flexible. We need more of them as mentors.

And the guy who decorated this truck for the police. We need many more of him.

Cuteness

Which one is more cute? Little girls with headscarves off to school or a HMMWV with whitewalls? It's really a difficult call, but I'm going with schoolgirls. Maybe it's the Sailor Moon Backpack.

The variety of uniforms I encounter around Afghanistan is another cute thing. If "cute" is the right word. With just American uniforms, you have Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines each with their own camouflage patterns. But it gets better. Each has their own version of flight suits, so we're up to eight, then the Army is testing six more patterns of camoflauge, so what? 14 patterns? And then the Navy has its tan dessert pattern that everyone else has abandoned, but has also come up with what I can only call "aquaflage."

The best part is when someone tries to quote uniform standards and regulations. Really? How can anyone tell? And then there are another 15 countries or so represented on our camp each with another four to ten types of uniforms.

Does any of this chaos of uniforms make sense when the word "uniform" is violated by the the very presence of so many different styles?

The little girls in the picture are uniformed to go to school and look to be marching in step. That's more than you can say about where I work. Go figure.

Luxury and Translations

Morale is high. Except when it's not. And while I have a ton of things to write about, this picture is pretty much going to say it all for me today.

Thank you.

Reactions

We traveled to Aybak and as we pulled in these boys came running up smiling and clowning demanding I take their pictures. Everywhere we go, the people here are generally friendly and will return your waves, smiles and greetings. The kids especially are open and engaging and pick up English at amazing speed.

The articles published in USA Today produced interesting reactions here. We fielded calls, held meetings, made calls, and generally scrambled (chuckling) at the reactions of people. "Damage control" is one phrase heard several times yesterday. "Nice knowing you" was another.

How people react to a given stimulus always depends upon their perspective. Leaders try to think how others will perceive an action, a policy, a report, or at least, good leaders do. In today's world, information is the new battlefront and news stories and rumor control are extremely important. The 1857 mutinies throughout the British Empire in India were started and spread by rumors. Perception and information management are newly rediscovered battlefronts.

So the fact that the children of Afghanistan are so quick to smile and greet us when we roll in to town with armored HMMWVs, helmets and guns, and maybe a smile and a wave, is a good sign. It's too bad that pictures like these don't often make the front pages of newspapers. It would probably send a better message.

Good times

We had our team written up in USA Today, today. http://www.usatoday.com/news/military/2010-03-15-afghanistan-arms_N.htm

and

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2010-03-14-afghan-weapons-cache-lost_N.htm

It wasn't totally accurate. That's probably because the guy who wrote the article didn't get three weeks of classes, three weeks of indoc training in country, and had zero military experience. Sort of points out that our world is completely alien to most people.

Military language - even service to service - can be almost incomprehensible. It creates a barrier between us as any foreign language can do. Our team is made up of Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines, but we have overcome cultural and linguistic traditions to form a close team. We now have our own inside jokes, traditions, and shorthand for speaking and communicating.

The articles that came out may make us look professional or not, depending on your frame of reference. The articles did cause a tremendous amount of mirth here, though. The misquotes and misconceptions have led to a lot of ribbing and joking. Lots of it is macabre and most of it would be incomprehensible to anyone outside our office.

The whole point of this note is - we find our humor and breaks where ever we can. It brings us closer together, passes the time more quickly and hopefully. brings us home quicker.

Mine is Special

The 1228 mission leads to interesting discoveries. Captured and seized Taliban weapons are often in varying states of repair. One of the weapons pictured above was obviously loved more than the others.

Growing up in the 1980's as some people much older than I did, AK-47s and the mujahadin were almost mythical. The fight against the Soviet invaders in Afghanistan using their own weapons against them seemed to be almost poetic in its justice.

20 years later, those weapons are still here. So are the weapons from fighting the British, twice; a lot of weapons shipped in by the Nazis; weapons from the US circa World War I and World War II. Just a lot of weapons.

You quickly become a specialist in identifying which country the 20 types of AK-47s come from. It's fascinating, but in the end, not a very marketable skill. Or at least outside of a niche market.

How You Treat Your Dog

I think that how you treat your pets says a lot about who you are. I find it interesting that stray cats and dogs in the US are extremely leary and shy. They run, they hide, they generally avoid people.

In Afghanistan, they tend to come right up, nose your hand, and then collapse in a nap at your feet. Cats and dogs alike are so much less afraid of people here. No incidents of firecrackers tied to tails, no deliberate cruelty to cats, no rocks thrown at dogs.

Even though dogs are considered unclean in many Muslim cultures, the Koran enjoins Muslims to treat animals kindly. Buddhists and Hindus, perhaps because of belief in reincarnation and karma, also generally treat animals kindly.

Why is it in the US that our strays are so afraid? What does it say about our culture?

And the dog in this picture? His name is Tony and he's just sleeping through one of my briefs. All the soldiers standing there wish they could do the same.

Met with State Department guy today. Good man. Wants to get the job done and has an amazingly huge portfolio. Wears a suit – very nice gabardine with a blue plaid shirt and multi-hued tie – to a meeting in a beautifully appointed conference room with some smelly Army guys carrying guns.

Our State guy mentioned that he didn’t see why anyone would take the embassy seriously when they were living in squalor, so the posh living conditions were to send a message to the Afghans, “See how we live? We’re Americans and you should trust us because we know how to roll in style.”

We were having culture shock over the swept streets, fresh paint, suits and shiny faces. To the Army guys, living in luxury when the rest of your mission is living in the dirt, seems a bit much. Complaining about it seems beyond believable.

Justifying it by believing you have to maintain appearances? I am just not sure how to touch that one…

So a picture of a guy driving a minivan full of sheep seems to say what I am trying to express: huh?

Formal Familiarity

I walk to work each morning. 15 minutes brisk walk through six checkpoints, past the Pakistan Embassy, the US Embassy and several homes and safe houses. My favorite part of the walk is getting the opportunity to practice Dari, Hindi, and Tagalog.

There are thirty or so armed guards at various points along the walk. Afghans, Indians and Nepalese, and Philippinos all greet you with smiles. The Indians and Nepalese are easy: "Namaste." Philippinos: "Mangadang Umaga, Como Esta?"

The Afghans are the most fun, though: "Sopbahire! Hubas dee? Chatoras Dee? Janajoras?" Maybe add a "Lapajab Chatoras?" If you are more familiar.

The culture here has a strong tradition of formality that actually eases conversation. They greet you each day asking about your health, your day, your family, your job. They wish you a good day and thank you for inquiring into their health and circumstances. Every encounter requires a handshake, firm, but longer than an American one.

A walk that should take 15 minutes can stretch to 30 minutes or even and hour after declining twenty invitations to tea and to have a small bite. They will unhesitatingly offer you half their meal every time.

The formality of their greetings has quickly become a familiarity and welcome start and end to each day.

Shaving

Culture is fun to study and really fun and surprising to note how others (mis)interpret yours.

This one is a little off-color so be warned. Funny, thought-provoking, but off-color.

We recently worked with some Afghan police and noticed that one policeman did not carry his own weapon or equipment. He had another man carry it for him. The boss had a beard. The bag man was clean shaven with a hint of eye shadow. I will leave unsaid any conjecture about their relationship. But we had it explained that the bearded men wear the pants and the clean-shaven ones take other roles.

In the US military beards are forbidden. Mustaches are allowed, but discouraged. Infantrymen look at guys with mustaches as undisciplined.

How do the Afghans look at us?

Introductions

Disclaimer:

I am writing this blog from Kabul, Afghanistan. I am on a 12 month tour assigned to the Combined Security Transition Command - Afghanistan. Or the NATO Training Mission - Afghanistan. Or the Office of Security Cooperation - Afghanistan. The names keep changing to protect the innocent.

What I do, though, is pretty clear: I work in the Joint Task Force 1228. The team is responsible for (by law) Registering all small arms provided to the Afghan National Security Forces; Tracking the Origin, Shipping and Distribution of Defense Articles provided; and End Use Monitoring. If you really want a detailed brief about this, email me and I will send you a power point brief, notes, and copies of the laws. It's horrible reading, but a fantastic job.

I am US Army Major, Foreign Area Officer or FAO, with a Southeast Asia background. While that doesn't seem to tie in to Afghanistan that well, the job I do is a classic "FAO" job. We do similar things in most countries we work with.

So, the blog is going to NOT be a detailed report of daily activities. It is NOT going to be a political soapbox. It is NOT going to be official in any way.

It WILL be, I hope, a small window into one soldier's view of Afghanistan and his work here; a little about Afghan people, a lot about Military Culture, and at least as irreverant at times as Catch 22 and MASH without the anti-war political messages. I hope.

Final Disclaimer:

I really don't know what I'm talking about.

Tiara

The photo was taken on the way to inspect a depot. The kids come rushing out for convoys because gunners often throw candy. The cynical side of me thinks of them as canaries - when the kids don't come out it's time to start looking out.

But I had a rough day and to combat it, I took a pageout of my Mom's book. She has a tiara that she wears around when she wants to feel special. I don't have a tiara, but I do have a VIP Pass. So I clipped it to my uniform and sported it around that evening to dinner. It failed miserably. No extra dessert. No extra lobster tail. No special seat. No one even noticed the badge, though I did get punked out by a Sergeant Major who didn't like my unit patch. He didn't blink at the VIP Badge. Maybe I need the tiara.

On the Road to Aybak

FAO:

Foreign Area Officer or

Funded Adventure Overseas

I like the second a lot.

I will soon be looking for sponsors when I finish with the Army. Any takers?