Formal Familiarity

I walk to work each morning. 15 minutes brisk walk through six checkpoints, past the Pakistan Embassy, the US Embassy and several homes and safe houses. My favorite part of the walk is getting the opportunity to practice Dari, Hindi, and Tagalog.

There are thirty or so armed guards at various points along the walk. Afghans, Indians and Nepalese, and Philippinos all greet you with smiles. The Indians and Nepalese are easy: "Namaste." Philippinos: "Mangadang Umaga, Como Esta?"

The Afghans are the most fun, though: "Sopbahire! Hubas dee? Chatoras Dee? Janajoras?" Maybe add a "Lapajab Chatoras?" If you are more familiar.

The culture here has a strong tradition of formality that actually eases conversation. They greet you each day asking about your health, your day, your family, your job. They wish you a good day and thank you for inquiring into their health and circumstances. Every encounter requires a handshake, firm, but longer than an American one.

A walk that should take 15 minutes can stretch to 30 minutes or even and hour after declining twenty invitations to tea and to have a small bite. They will unhesitatingly offer you half their meal every time.

The formality of their greetings has quickly become a familiarity and welcome start and end to each day.