Driving in Kabul

Writing the instructions for how to drive in Kabul for my office:

1. Don't be stupid.

2. You have the Right of Way when:
- your car is ahead of theirs;
- they hesitate;
- they are smaller than you (most of the time);
- they flinch first;
- you can convince them you are NOT stopping.

3. Stop at intersections - NEVER. Turn left, right or go straight through as if they have the red light every time.

4. Traffic circles in Kabul are not directional - just go where you want to.

5. Stop for National Directorate of Security checkpoints only when the RPG is pointed DIRECTLY at you.

6. If they point the RPG at you, close to within 20 feet as slyly as possible - it won't go off, honest.

7. They are ALL one-way streets - or rather, they are all TWO way streets no matter what the traffic or sign may say...

8. "Smile and wave" or "Cute and Cuddly" are great attitudes to have, but "I will bring all my people home no matter what." is better.

9. Convoy "Success" is measured by Everyone Home Safely. Everything else is negligible.

Reality Bites

This photo is in black and white not for effect, but to tone it down. I make light of things on this blog, but there really is a war going on. I wish it were a clean one. As clean as war could be, that is. There haven't ever really been wars in history that involve only the people who want to fight them.

I don't believe that this war will be won with guns. The trite phrase of "winning the hearts and minds" while cliche garbage comes closer to the truth of this war than any other. War is the ultimate expression of politics - persuassion at the end of a gun or the last word in any argument.

This is a war of Information. A war trying to establish the supremecy of ideas and ideology. The gun fire is just for effect. Effect upon the minds of the populace, of the press, of the politicians.

Maybe most wars are fought this way in "modern" times. But with the media of today it is so much more potent and pervasive.

So when President Karzai makes inflamatory remarks against the "West," it is that much more serious. When the NY Times prints an article discussing the supposed hopelessness of our presence here it is an attack against our "cause." And when the USA Today prints an article about the ineffectiveness of the Afghan Government for entertainment purposes and "eyeballs" on their paper, they are playing on the side of the "bad guys."

If it's about ideas and ideology, any support for the "other side's" position or any comment criticizing "our side" no matter how deserved is an attack.

This isn't a call for censorship or a demand for us to develop a propaganda machine. But it is a call to recognize that words are weapons. Today's battlefront may take lives with guns, but the war will be won by one idea proving superior to another. By enough people choosing one idea over another. It may take a gun to protect that idea, but the idea is the thing. Not the gun.

The AK-47 variant, the Chinese Type 56-1 in this picture is an example of an idea - the Russians invented it. The Chinese copied it. An Afghan insurgent got it. Then died with his brains all over it. His idea proved insufficient to the task.

Cuteness

Which one is more cute? Little girls with headscarves off to school or a HMMWV with whitewalls? It's really a difficult call, but I'm going with schoolgirls. Maybe it's the Sailor Moon Backpack.

The variety of uniforms I encounter around Afghanistan is another cute thing. If "cute" is the right word. With just American uniforms, you have Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines each with their own camouflage patterns. But it gets better. Each has their own version of flight suits, so we're up to eight, then the Army is testing six more patterns of camoflauge, so what? 14 patterns? And then the Navy has its tan dessert pattern that everyone else has abandoned, but has also come up with what I can only call "aquaflage."

The best part is when someone tries to quote uniform standards and regulations. Really? How can anyone tell? And then there are another 15 countries or so represented on our camp each with another four to ten types of uniforms.

Does any of this chaos of uniforms make sense when the word "uniform" is violated by the the very presence of so many different styles?

The little girls in the picture are uniformed to go to school and look to be marching in step. That's more than you can say about where I work. Go figure.

Luxury and Translations

Morale is high. Except when it's not. And while I have a ton of things to write about, this picture is pretty much going to say it all for me today.

Thank you.

Reactions

We traveled to Aybak and as we pulled in these boys came running up smiling and clowning demanding I take their pictures. Everywhere we go, the people here are generally friendly and will return your waves, smiles and greetings. The kids especially are open and engaging and pick up English at amazing speed.

The articles published in USA Today produced interesting reactions here. We fielded calls, held meetings, made calls, and generally scrambled (chuckling) at the reactions of people. "Damage control" is one phrase heard several times yesterday. "Nice knowing you" was another.

How people react to a given stimulus always depends upon their perspective. Leaders try to think how others will perceive an action, a policy, a report, or at least, good leaders do. In today's world, information is the new battlefront and news stories and rumor control are extremely important. The 1857 mutinies throughout the British Empire in India were started and spread by rumors. Perception and information management are newly rediscovered battlefronts.

So the fact that the children of Afghanistan are so quick to smile and greet us when we roll in to town with armored HMMWVs, helmets and guns, and maybe a smile and a wave, is a good sign. It's too bad that pictures like these don't often make the front pages of newspapers. It would probably send a better message.

Good times

We had our team written up in USA Today, today. http://www.usatoday.com/news/military/2010-03-15-afghanistan-arms_N.htm

and

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2010-03-14-afghan-weapons-cache-lost_N.htm

It wasn't totally accurate. That's probably because the guy who wrote the article didn't get three weeks of classes, three weeks of indoc training in country, and had zero military experience. Sort of points out that our world is completely alien to most people.

Military language - even service to service - can be almost incomprehensible. It creates a barrier between us as any foreign language can do. Our team is made up of Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines, but we have overcome cultural and linguistic traditions to form a close team. We now have our own inside jokes, traditions, and shorthand for speaking and communicating.

The articles that came out may make us look professional or not, depending on your frame of reference. The articles did cause a tremendous amount of mirth here, though. The misquotes and misconceptions have led to a lot of ribbing and joking. Lots of it is macabre and most of it would be incomprehensible to anyone outside our office.

The whole point of this note is - we find our humor and breaks where ever we can. It brings us closer together, passes the time more quickly and hopefully. brings us home quicker.

Mine is Special

The 1228 mission leads to interesting discoveries. Captured and seized Taliban weapons are often in varying states of repair. One of the weapons pictured above was obviously loved more than the others.

Growing up in the 1980's as some people much older than I did, AK-47s and the mujahadin were almost mythical. The fight against the Soviet invaders in Afghanistan using their own weapons against them seemed to be almost poetic in its justice.

20 years later, those weapons are still here. So are the weapons from fighting the British, twice; a lot of weapons shipped in by the Nazis; weapons from the US circa World War I and World War II. Just a lot of weapons.

You quickly become a specialist in identifying which country the 20 types of AK-47s come from. It's fascinating, but in the end, not a very marketable skill. Or at least outside of a niche market.

Met with State Department guy today. Good man. Wants to get the job done and has an amazingly huge portfolio. Wears a suit – very nice gabardine with a blue plaid shirt and multi-hued tie – to a meeting in a beautifully appointed conference room with some smelly Army guys carrying guns.

Our State guy mentioned that he didn’t see why anyone would take the embassy seriously when they were living in squalor, so the posh living conditions were to send a message to the Afghans, “See how we live? We’re Americans and you should trust us because we know how to roll in style.”

We were having culture shock over the swept streets, fresh paint, suits and shiny faces. To the Army guys, living in luxury when the rest of your mission is living in the dirt, seems a bit much. Complaining about it seems beyond believable.

Justifying it by believing you have to maintain appearances? I am just not sure how to touch that one…

So a picture of a guy driving a minivan full of sheep seems to say what I am trying to express: huh?

Formal Familiarity

I walk to work each morning. 15 minutes brisk walk through six checkpoints, past the Pakistan Embassy, the US Embassy and several homes and safe houses. My favorite part of the walk is getting the opportunity to practice Dari, Hindi, and Tagalog.

There are thirty or so armed guards at various points along the walk. Afghans, Indians and Nepalese, and Philippinos all greet you with smiles. The Indians and Nepalese are easy: "Namaste." Philippinos: "Mangadang Umaga, Como Esta?"

The Afghans are the most fun, though: "Sopbahire! Hubas dee? Chatoras Dee? Janajoras?" Maybe add a "Lapajab Chatoras?" If you are more familiar.

The culture here has a strong tradition of formality that actually eases conversation. They greet you each day asking about your health, your day, your family, your job. They wish you a good day and thank you for inquiring into their health and circumstances. Every encounter requires a handshake, firm, but longer than an American one.

A walk that should take 15 minutes can stretch to 30 minutes or even and hour after declining twenty invitations to tea and to have a small bite. They will unhesitatingly offer you half their meal every time.

The formality of their greetings has quickly become a familiarity and welcome start and end to each day.

On the Road to Aybak

FAO:

Foreign Area Officer or

Funded Adventure Overseas

I like the second a lot.

I will soon be looking for sponsors when I finish with the Army. Any takers?